Hi. Meet me and my personal drama.
2011-04-04 @ 15:28:34
Okay, so I know that living a life is not an easy thing. But how much misery there has to be? Is there a limit? Because I'd like to see it one day. I'd like to wake up and know that there's no more tears to cry. So, can anyone assure me of this? Can anyone tell me that all these years I've lived and all these days I cried because of people who constantly hurt me, will end? I keep convincing myself that if a person like me has beed having messed up life, one day it has to end and everything will be okay. I keep convincing myself that the last disaster that has happend was the last and that people who hurt me also have learnt their lesson.

But after a month pass by, or sooner, they do it again. They do something that affects me so deeply that I can't live my life. I don't even want to. You know what I want? I want to disappear, to leave it all behind, just not-to-be. Honestly, I'd love to go sleep and never wake up if this is the life I'm bound to lead.

No lessons learnt for you, no perceptions for you, just me and my personal drama, as usual.
Comments

Rvianna
The Calling in their song "We're forgiven":
"There's no way out of here
I don't want to die, and leave it all behind
Each day part of me disappears"

Listen to this song. The lyrics and melody are very good.

I agree with them. I'm afraid of death. And a day when I''m gonna wake and know that before me just on never ending moment would be like a verdict for me. Life is full of sorrow and cry - but every day is different. Someone had hurt me today. But there's always a hope, that tomorrow I'll find someone who will be with me till the end. It's hard to believe in it. But that's what life depends on. On hope. And the stupid, baseless, blind and true hope give our life sense.
As You wrote - it's Your personal drama. So I can only stand next to You and watch. Or tell something. And that's what I'm gonna tell: believe. And keep hope.
Rvianna
I'd like to write a long smart post for You but... All I have to say is that You were right. After some time it's just to much. I'm trying to think rationally. But I almost cant'. I knew the advantages and disadvanteges of my behaviour, of my reaction. I knew what consequences there might be. I shouldn't said that sentence. One sentence more that it should be.
All I can do is to sign under your note.

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