What kind of love...
2012-05-01 @ 01:13:25
... do You choose to have?
Because, after all, it's a matter of choice.
You are right, there is no particular pattern of love, each is unique. But when we collect some cases, some exemplars, what emerges out of them is an overall generalisation in which some truth might be found.
Let me develop my idea, so you can look a little bit closer on what I mean.
Most of us, as far as we can remember, imagined a perfect love as a mixture of passion and pure, almost platonic feelings without harsh restrictions of our freedom, right?
And what most of us have?
First, a flatmate of mine - her love, that unfortunately ended, was about sex. Yes, she loved him, yes mutually. However, asked about memories she would depict situations in which they had sex, at first. Then would come something like: 'yeah, but I liked his family and I guess they respected me as well...' then, while depicting other events concerning her life she would mention that they happened while she was in a relationship with the guy. Always asked straightforwardly about their relationship she would start some sex-oriented events of hers.
Second, some girl I attend lecturers etc. with. She lives with her boyfriend. It's a kind of love when both of partners, if I may say so, have had the chance to 'discover each other's bodies' for the first time and they've build their sex life from scratch, so to say. Despite the love that is in their relationship, at times when I talked with her she admitted that the idea of having sex only with one person throughout her whole lifetime seemed weird. So, on one hand, yes, she's head over hills with him, but people tend to want more. All of us do. There is always this first bite, first taste, and then we start pursuing, eagerly, more and more. Until we get fed up or addicted somewhere at the dead end of what once could have been developed into a thing greater than what we are left with now.
Third, I heard some contradictory extreme. The story goes like this: a catholic man, whose belief is stronger than most of us can imagine, meets a girl with a similar belief. And so they live, without any sinuous touch. They engaged, whether now they are married or not, I don't know. However, as far as his plans were concerned, he imagined his relationship as pure, according to the Christian code.
Fourth and fifth and a lot of more, most of the people I know try to combine these matters. Physical life with emotional (yeah, yeah, they mix but one of them is always superior to the other). As people, we tend to overindulge ourselves with things we can afford. There are moments of melancholy in our life, when we daydream and wonder about the relationship we've got. Whether it's the one we always wanted to have or not, if we are on a right path, or maybe we could have built something a way better? Is this what we have really our dream world?
What a shame loads of water will flow until we realise the truth about ourselves. Because it's the essential ingredient of finding the way in which we want to live our life.
And how does it influence singles?
What kind of relationship do You want to have, do you seek for or hope to be found by? If the society is sex-oriented, is there really a space for love that is eternal? If people are absorbed with sex, could they love the one even if (and now completely unreal vision comes) lost senses in some parts of their bodies and could satisfy your needs no longer? Would you still love such a person? Or would you even decide to start a relationship at first? How great can we be when we tell around the ideas of how to live right and how do we live up to our expectations of ourselves?
How is it in your opinion?
Because, after all, it's a matter of choice.
You are right, there is no particular pattern of love, each is unique. But when we collect some cases, some exemplars, what emerges out of them is an overall generalisation in which some truth might be found.
Let me develop my idea, so you can look a little bit closer on what I mean.
Most of us, as far as we can remember, imagined a perfect love as a mixture of passion and pure, almost platonic feelings without harsh restrictions of our freedom, right?
And what most of us have?
First, a flatmate of mine - her love, that unfortunately ended, was about sex. Yes, she loved him, yes mutually. However, asked about memories she would depict situations in which they had sex, at first. Then would come something like: 'yeah, but I liked his family and I guess they respected me as well...' then, while depicting other events concerning her life she would mention that they happened while she was in a relationship with the guy. Always asked straightforwardly about their relationship she would start some sex-oriented events of hers.
Second, some girl I attend lecturers etc. with. She lives with her boyfriend. It's a kind of love when both of partners, if I may say so, have had the chance to 'discover each other's bodies' for the first time and they've build their sex life from scratch, so to say. Despite the love that is in their relationship, at times when I talked with her she admitted that the idea of having sex only with one person throughout her whole lifetime seemed weird. So, on one hand, yes, she's head over hills with him, but people tend to want more. All of us do. There is always this first bite, first taste, and then we start pursuing, eagerly, more and more. Until we get fed up or addicted somewhere at the dead end of what once could have been developed into a thing greater than what we are left with now.
Third, I heard some contradictory extreme. The story goes like this: a catholic man, whose belief is stronger than most of us can imagine, meets a girl with a similar belief. And so they live, without any sinuous touch. They engaged, whether now they are married or not, I don't know. However, as far as his plans were concerned, he imagined his relationship as pure, according to the Christian code.
Fourth and fifth and a lot of more, most of the people I know try to combine these matters. Physical life with emotional (yeah, yeah, they mix but one of them is always superior to the other). As people, we tend to overindulge ourselves with things we can afford. There are moments of melancholy in our life, when we daydream and wonder about the relationship we've got. Whether it's the one we always wanted to have or not, if we are on a right path, or maybe we could have built something a way better? Is this what we have really our dream world?
What a shame loads of water will flow until we realise the truth about ourselves. Because it's the essential ingredient of finding the way in which we want to live our life.
And how does it influence singles?
What kind of relationship do You want to have, do you seek for or hope to be found by? If the society is sex-oriented, is there really a space for love that is eternal? If people are absorbed with sex, could they love the one even if (and now completely unreal vision comes) lost senses in some parts of their bodies and could satisfy your needs no longer? Would you still love such a person? Or would you even decide to start a relationship at first? How great can we be when we tell around the ideas of how to live right and how do we live up to our expectations of ourselves?
How is it in your opinion?