I'm sorry I've fallen apart.
2011-02-07 @ 19:53:58
My results are not satisfying. I had mock polish and math exams, first was extended. I got 60%. Measly 60%. We had mock polish on November 2010 and I scored 80%. What is more, today I sit math mock exam and I'm not sure If I've solved enough tasks to pass. I'm so scared, I'm devastated, I'm... not okay. I've searched the internet looking for thresholds at the universities I'm planning to apply for. That's how I've fallen apart.
If I had applied one year ago, my score wouldn't have been enough. And it's sad, you know? I've watched many tv-series and films in English. I've written many essays, I've talked many times with my Native Speaker, I've even found a job at hers place (I listen to her students and check if they do not make mistakes, if yes, I encounter it), I've gained so much knowledge, I feel like I'm imbibing English, and I'm still not good enough to get my points on Matura exam so I could apply for University I've dreamt of since I was a kid?
Come on... I have no idea what else shall I do?

I sincerely feel for all the people who had to or who will have to get through this admissions. It takes away your strength, it doesn't let you sleep in the night, it's exhausting...

I'm sorry for this post. I'm sorry, but I guess some of you have already experienced such incertitude and know that it's terrible.

So, tomorrow another mock English Matura exam. Great. Just can't wait for it.
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Język angielski matura z angielskiego Gramatyka angielska