The pleasure of life
2012-04-05 @ 04:22:49
After almost three years of absence I have no idea how to start so I'll just do it like this.
I finished my Bachelor's degree and quit my studies. Why? Don't ask me. Even God, if there is any, doesn't know the answer so how should I? But don't panic, I'll continue this year. For the time being I could only say I'm doing a little bit of everything and nothing, except the one certain fact that now it's all about pleasures. The pleasure of reading, the pleasure of driving my (very cool) car (too bad fuel gets so expensive), not having to do anything and some other things I won't mention not to get banned or accused of depraving my dear readers, if there are any. Still, it's somehow mostly about particularly not doing anything. How come? Again, I have no freakin' idea. It just is what it is and it's unexpectedly pleasurable.
NOW I'M GONNA BORE YOU TO DEATH. BEWARE, IT'S GONNA BE A GIRL'S TALK.
As to my personal life, you know what I mean, well, there is a boy. He isn't exactly my boyfriend, he's just... he's complicated. That's why we don't really suit each other. I'm extremely straight-minded person, uncomplicated as much as a human can be and he's not like me about it. He's intelligent (not that I'm not), handsome, faithful, has a well-paid job (first things girls always say about their boyfriends, right?) and I feel very safe by his side but he's also damaged, has some family issue I don't know much of.
He's the kind of a guy who considers you being special, acts totally like your boyfriend on dates(but isn't), cares about you but doesn't ever say a word about it so you never know. Perhaps he tries to show it 'in his own (twisted, imperceptible) way' as they say, but as far as you're not a telepath, how are you supposed to know? One day you bring up the subject only because some time ago you totally excluded any option of him carrying about you and finally have made the decision to end it. And then, after a few drinks, during a gg conversation he writes you 'I care about you'. You get shocked. I mean, he didn't ever say a thing of a serious treatment, he'd rather deny it. Yeah, it just happened today.
So could I possibly want to be with a guy like him? No, not at all. No matter how silly or shallow it might sound, I really do like him, yet don't wan't to be with him whatsoever. Yea, now I'm all messed up too.
I finished my Bachelor's degree and quit my studies. Why? Don't ask me. Even God, if there is any, doesn't know the answer so how should I? But don't panic, I'll continue this year. For the time being I could only say I'm doing a little bit of everything and nothing, except the one certain fact that now it's all about pleasures. The pleasure of reading, the pleasure of driving my (very cool) car (too bad fuel gets so expensive), not having to do anything and some other things I won't mention not to get banned or accused of depraving my dear readers, if there are any. Still, it's somehow mostly about particularly not doing anything. How come? Again, I have no freakin' idea. It just is what it is and it's unexpectedly pleasurable.
NOW I'M GONNA BORE YOU TO DEATH. BEWARE, IT'S GONNA BE A GIRL'S TALK.
As to my personal life, you know what I mean, well, there is a boy. He isn't exactly my boyfriend, he's just... he's complicated. That's why we don't really suit each other. I'm extremely straight-minded person, uncomplicated as much as a human can be and he's not like me about it. He's intelligent (not that I'm not), handsome, faithful, has a well-paid job (first things girls always say about their boyfriends, right?) and I feel very safe by his side but he's also damaged, has some family issue I don't know much of.
He's the kind of a guy who considers you being special, acts totally like your boyfriend on dates(but isn't), cares about you but doesn't ever say a word about it so you never know. Perhaps he tries to show it 'in his own (twisted, imperceptible) way' as they say, but as far as you're not a telepath, how are you supposed to know? One day you bring up the subject only because some time ago you totally excluded any option of him carrying about you and finally have made the decision to end it. And then, after a few drinks, during a gg conversation he writes you 'I care about you'. You get shocked. I mean, he didn't ever say a thing of a serious treatment, he'd rather deny it. Yeah, it just happened today.
So could I possibly want to be with a guy like him? No, not at all. No matter how silly or shallow it might sound, I really do like him, yet don't wan't to be with him whatsoever. Yea, now I'm all messed up too.