it was completely disaster :)
2007-10-23 @ 22:05:31
Yes, its true it was completely disaster!Im shame a little couse it really didnt come off (it didnt manage to come off or it failed).The cake after putting in an oven was quite good, I did every ingredients which I should, it was really nice after that. I covered the frankfurters in this cake and every was goog. When I opened for the first time the oven I was shocked couse I saw sth wrong. The whole cake was crack in the every frankfurters. I dont know what was going on(?), I did everything according to receipt. I dont know:(I was full of hope, I told everyone of my family I was doing some delicious supper for everybody. And they really were looking forward to it. Even my brother equired a couple of times me when the meal would be...Every was waiting for it...And when I put the frankurters out of the oven I wanted to be death, it was let me down:(I was a little sad:(But there wasnt coming back so I put this meal in some plates and...they ate but I know it was really not good:(They didnt want to made me sorry and I appreciate that!
So now I know I'll never again do this kind of food. But on the other side if I didnt do this meal I wouldnt know how it is and I'll be thinking still about it and now I know:)So anyway Im happy I did it, Im glad I tasted it, this is my new experience:)...and of course I did sth what I could write about in English. So as you can see there are nice things too in this situation.
What else..???
I want to change my job I guess.But I cant do this now. There're a lot of problems. The meanest problem is my ability for using a computer so that I havent got a comp in my job and I know none of comp's programs besides Microsof Office and everything and so on. To be trully Im very scared, Im very frainted and I cant do this despite of my wanting.Im scared.I want to my doctor will give me some strength, some brave and make me I believe in myself. I want to he would make me diffrent person who can see the world strongly. In real Im very shy person, who is wick, who is a little girl feeling fears, who is fearfull, who is afraid of everything. I dont want to be like that, it really disturb me, it really make me angry with myself, it really make me sorry. I dont want to live in this way.Oh God, I want to be strong as my friends are. Im getting change and one of my changing is learning English, thats why I decided to learn this language because these days this ability is a primary ability, if you want to get a nice job you have to know at least one foreign language.Thats why I try to write every day, without it Im getting lost. I can forget about a good job.I have to manage it, manage this skill, this ability. But Im afraid Im better in writing, I have a bigger problems with speaking, my pronounciaton is really good, really pleasant but the problem is of talking.I havent sb who I can talk to. (And still of my head, of my mind is the bad cake...)
I feel my stomach, I mean my stomachahe!Maybe this coused my cake...No it couldnt be, I didnt eat a lot of this cake...Maybe this is my imagination, my subcounscious. It brings me mind like that.I equired recently that our subconscious has a big strenght, it can focus on our head, on our mind, it can inluence on us in every situation. It has a very big power but peolpe havent known about it.The psychiatrics use the subconscious on their cure, on their treatment.
Now Im going to take a bath and doing pill-off my face and when I'll finish I'll go and I'll end this post.
meanwhile see you
Comments


adventure
Hm... It's hard to say something...
I don't know, if I write this comment you will feel better, but maybe...
I changed my work 5 months ago. I wasn't easy particularly because I have worked for my previous firm for seven years. I thought then, that I would be working at M... till my retiremant ;)
After seven years (today I think, that it is to long period for work in one place) I wrote the letter to my boss, that I resign from work. It was in February.
I had three months to find something new. I thought: I am a programmer, I will find job very fast, maybe I emigrate somewhere... It was not so easy. I live in small city now, which is named sleepcity. There are no work for programmers. I don't speak English so well to emigrate to England to work as programmer and I don't want to be a... for example don't want to work in a carwash, I must have found job in Poland, best in the firm, where I must speak English too.
I sent more-less sixty apllication forms, I had about thirty interviews, (all in two months - one application for a day) and in result I have had new work already after two months :). A have had one month, when I needn't to be nervous about my future when my work for my previous firm will end.
I'm very glad of it.
So.
You must belive in youself. Lots of people are not able to continue what they have started. You still learn, still write postes, you are strong and I think you don't need any pils or doctors. Internet is the best library. You can find there every manual what you need. You can learn everything, what you want... And then you can change your life. But remember about your body and spirit too: go for a walk, have a hobby, do some frankfurters ;) You must like yourself by means :)
Believe in youself and smile... :)
Bye :)

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