to be active
2007-10-23 @ 23:56:34
I think Im the activest bloger today. I have dominated this day:)It is my the third post. On my previous post I wrote about subconscious, about the strenght of it, about the power of it and I promised I'll end that post. So now I have to say sth about my life yet to according to that post. My life is boring, every day is the same as previous and the next day. A routine has come in my life and I dont want to live this way, this dont make me happy, this make me sad.Every day is arranged, the same boring routines, every is the same. And what is more Im not cheerful with my job. Its really nervousness and stresfull. Its not what I want to do. Its not my think. Maybe I repeat my saying but I tell you I want to change my job. And my house...I want to live in my flat, alone, I love my family, but I need to some free, some air to live in my way, how I want to live. But on the other hand Im scared about living only myself.Its very complicated.I dont understand myself sometimes. I want to live especially in Kraków, have well-paid work, have a nice boyfriend and nice friends.I want to go to the cinema, to the theatre, on a swimmingpool, to the mean market- walking and having fun. I want to feel cheer with my life, I want to b really happy.Maybe Im boring writing the same things but You dont have to believe it I feel better. I feel better if I could say you about my problems.I feel a little relief.I imagine you feel the same as me, I know its stupied but there it is.
Now Im drinking a glass of water with lemin, I wanted to do a couple of gren tea but actually we havent got now, it has to be ended. I must ask my mum to bye another pack.I like very much green tea, especially if it includes orange and another ingredients. Then its delicious.For a few minutes I have to take pills, the time has come:)We have some enjoy, I mean me and my nephiew, couse every morning he is coming to me and say to me I must take pills and Im having fun pretending I dont want to. And then he is saying :"You have to take pills, the pills are not good but healthy", and he is explaining still me that I have to do it. Finally Im opening my mouth and he is putting the pills in my mouth and is bringing me some water or tea, its really sweety, he is so hunny.
Everybody in my home is sleping now. The lights are turned off and only in my room the computer is working and me of course.
I wish my life to be more interesting, more funny things, more happiness, more cheerful, more smiles, more beauty, more brave, more courage:)
Now on a radio I can hear a song where a man is singing: "On life only moments are beauty" and I agree with him.....
I have to finish, I think Im better than yesterday I mean writing in English. Tomorow I will write a lot too. I hope.
sweet dreams and have a nice day tomorow
it was completely disaster :)
2007-10-23 @ 22:05:31
Yes, its true it was completely disaster!Im shame a little couse it really didnt come off (it didnt manage to come off or it failed).The cake after putting in an oven was quite good, I did every ingredients which I should, it was really nice after that. I covered the frankfurters in this cake and every was goog. When I opened for the first time the oven I was shocked couse I saw sth wrong. The whole cake was crack in the every frankfurters. I dont know what was going on(?), I did everything according to receipt. I dont know:(I was full of hope, I told everyone of my family I was doing some delicious supper for everybody. And they really were looking forward to it. Even my brother equired a couple of times me when the meal would be...Every was waiting for it...And when I put the frankurters out of the oven I wanted to be death, it was let me down:(I was a little sad:(But there wasnt coming back so I put this meal in some plates and...they ate but I know it was really not good:(They didnt want to made me sorry and I appreciate that!
So now I know I'll never again do this kind of food. But on the other side if I didnt do this meal I wouldnt know how it is and I'll be thinking still about it and now I know:)So anyway Im happy I did it, Im glad I tasted it, this is my new experience:)...and of course I did sth what I could write about in English. So as you can see there are nice things too in this situation.
What else..???
I want to change my job I guess.But I cant do this now. There're a lot of problems. The meanest problem is my ability for using a computer so that I havent got a comp in my job and I know none of comp's programs besides Microsof Office and everything and so on. To be trully Im very scared, Im very frainted and I cant do this despite of my wanting.Im scared.I want to my doctor will give me some strength, some brave and make me I believe in myself. I want to he would make me diffrent person who can see the world strongly. In real Im very shy person, who is wick, who is a little girl feeling fears, who is fearfull, who is afraid of everything. I dont want to be like that, it really disturb me, it really make me angry with myself, it really make me sorry. I dont want to live in this way.Oh God, I want to be strong as my friends are. Im getting change and one of my changing is learning English, thats why I decided to learn this language because these days this ability is a primary ability, if you want to get a nice job you have to know at least one foreign language.Thats why I try to write every day, without it Im getting lost. I can forget about a good job.I have to manage it, manage this skill, this ability. But Im afraid Im better in writing, I have a bigger problems with speaking, my pronounciaton is really good, really pleasant but the problem is of talking.I havent sb who I can talk to. (And still of my head, of my mind is the bad cake...)
I feel my stomach, I mean my stomachahe!Maybe this coused my cake...No it couldnt be, I didnt eat a lot of this cake...Maybe this is my imagination, my subcounscious. It brings me mind like that.I equired recently that our subconscious has a big strenght, it can focus on our head, on our mind, it can inluence on us in every situation. It has a very big power but peolpe havent known about it.The psychiatrics use the subconscious on their cure, on their treatment.
Now Im going to take a bath and doing pill-off my face and when I'll finish I'll go and I'll end this post.
meanwhile see you
every is going about writing
2007-10-23 @ 17:23:03
Ive just eaten a dinner, have taken an antibiotic and now Im writing On my blog.
Oh, there is nth special to write but I have to imagine something, some subject, some topic which I can write sth about it in English...
About now:
My mum is ironing, my father is watching tv, my brother is sleeping on my bed, in my room, my sister and her husband and son are in their flat, but I was there a minute again and I could see my brother in low is laying on a bed covered a duvet and watching the news on tv, my sister is changing clothes (she has just came back from work) and the son is playing with a toy. This is the look what we are doing right now.
My mum feels beeter than yesterday and me too.
All day today is raining and Im happy Im at home and I dont have to go to work:)Today I slept to 10.30 am and I think I could sleep yet but my friend called from work and I was waken up by it. I dont know why but I love sleeping, really I love it.
Today evening Im going to do some meal to my family. Im doing some frankfurters in some cake, but the cake wont be sweet. We'll see how it will be(?) I hope they will like it!So for a moment I will have to go to the kitchen and before I have to check a recept for this cake.I'll write later if it is good. (The first conditional:)=will +the present simple)
Now Im going to the kitchn, just keep your fingers crossed by me:))))))
see you later
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