if you don't move, you'll never know what you're missing.:: Blog po angielsku

as clear as crystal...

2009-06-29 @ 20:25:53

my mother is peaceful. it's so weird! she doesn't scream, doesn't cuss. but I know the reason.
my brother wants to go abroad (like me) in two months. I want to do it in one month. she's scary that he stay alone in Poland. I told her the other day, that if she doesn't stop, she will stay alone here. she didn't act my advice. so... my prophecy is coming true inexorably...
my love's brother and his wife are coming their home in Ireland tommorow. it's an occasion to talk about my live there... I convicted him it... he sad early, that he won't talk about it and I can arrive and live there without their agreed. I don't want to do it, when I know they don't know about my arrival and staying for next 4 - 5 years. it's not fair...
I'm scary... I don't know what they say :( will they agree...? or will they against...
I hope tommorow everything will be as clear as crystal...

comments (0)

hopes and M.J.

2009-06-26 @ 19:49:30

I discussed today with my boyfriend. he resents my mother for everything what she treats me like dort. today she told, that I must give her all money what I have after sale my car, and then she said that I must to repay her credit - something about 10 000 PLN, and then - to depart fast :/ she used these words. great...
back to square one, my love told I can to pack up and fly to him, to Ireland. I said "no". I must to recapture my money, it is 7 000 PLN!! I must have some money to start in Ireland - now I have nothing, maybe 20 PLN in my wallet :/ I don't want to live there on tick :/ we ruled that he will get me to Ireland after wedding in August. I must hold out something about 6 weeks...
yesterday I heard about passing of Michael Jackson... I have his discography, without exceptions... his "you Are Not Alone" patronize me and my boyfriend's love all along... we both love to hear his songs... together or apart... I don't believe he is dead... I didn't think that he die anytime... he always was in the world... now he's gone.
rest in peace Michael [*]

comments (1)

two options.

2009-06-21 @ 14:40:45

I found alvo website - http://www.wordreference.com. I searched, how to translate "jak najmocniej"... and there I was spot on ;) I recommend :)
I thought about my future... there is an end of my study.
option 1: I can leave Poland. It would be self-imposed exile. I would be with my love, work abroad, make better my english. 4 - 5 years abroad, ant then coma back to Poland - my love want to do it. here yearly study, my second dream - fitness instructor.
option 2: I can find job here, live in Poland (with my acerbic mother :/ ) and per year - yearly study - fitness instructor.
we'll see... keep your fingers :) finally everything must be better.

comments (0)

I knocked my studies on the head.

2009-06-17 @ 14:54:36

Everything crashed. I failed a little exam. now I don't have a chance to carry on my study. why? If I want to continue, I must to pay few hundreds PLN. I can't be sure, that I pass residial exams - if not, I must to pay few hundreds PLN x two, three... etc. I'm not able to do it... second impediment - next year I should have 6 exams - I can't manage with it... It will be too lot of science... It's ungovernable for me. I don't want to trash next year of my life for something, what is impossible to bring it off.
I really will not manage with it. Law is to hard for me. I believed that I can graduate. I miscalculated... so... I don't know, what now. I don't want to gamble that my boyfriend takes me to Ireland under his wings... In this day and age, when there is recession, finding job can be difficult... I have savings, I sold my car... but it's not a big amount in Ireland - it's only something about 1500 euro... I can live with it one, maybe two months... and what then? what, if I wouldn't find a job? I'm watchint CNN now, "Road To Recovery". They're talking about recession, unemployment in GB. situation is badly.
I'm disoriented.

My success? I lost 3,5kg. But it's not enjoying me in this situation.

comments (2)

f**k.

2009-06-15 @ 18:29:46

I have no free time. trainings, school, and visits doctor... I have problems with my health. I have no zest to learn. I'm fed up to the teeth with it. I'm scared vision of learning for next 6 years. I already don't want to be a lawyer... so I don't know, why I'm learning it now.
Everything crashes.

comments (1)

can you kill me?

2009-06-10 @ 20:05:01

next reason to leave my native land. row again, pain again, tears again. at night tears too... but I cried because I miss my love so much. in this situation I regret that he is far away from me... I need him here... but I must cope with it alone... sometimes it's horrible... no friends in Poland (thanks to my ex), only three persons in Ireland, one in Bydgoszcz, one in Poznań... here I'm alone... I have a lot of reasons to think that my mother hates me. I'm fed up to the teeth!!!! prayers to the God are ineffective, but I believe He can help me...
now I must pull together... I have 5 exams to pass and 1 little - I didn't take it at weekend, these days was horrible... a lot of rows with my mother, tears day by day... I wasn't able to do anything... one day was peaceful... ONE... today everything came back... and it's still continue... :(
I have depression again. Which persons can I thank?

comments (0)

tears again...

2009-06-06 @ 15:28:56

I'm crying now... again... thanks to my mother... row again... I can't learn, I can't stady on... I can't stop cry... she does me head in ;( I don't know, how I can weather ;( I'm listening Myslovitz - Chciałbym umrzeć z miłości... I cry to this song very often...
I'm sorry... I must to find my boyfriend's hoodie... I must to nuzzle it ;(

comments (0)

better way, better life... but before - tough call.

2009-06-06 @ 03:05:58

I wrote CV in english. my boyfriend didn't spot any errors... uhh ;) maybe I am truly better ;) joke... but I really believe, that it is a matter of time.
Bart, my darling, has said today, that he can't last out without me... I wanted to cry... I miss him so much... I want to hug him, kiss him... everything, but with him!!!! sometimes everything is so difficult... I am here alone... every day is harder... I miss more day by day... sometimes I cry... I can to tell him this things, I know that he would to more worried, can think that he gives me more suffer, less love and happiness... I don't want to his anguish... I'd rather to suffer secretly...
I'm not be able to change my life, I can't to stand out from everything what I have here. It's difficult to venture... I'm afraid, that I may regret, and I don't want. I would behave in line with my dreams... but fucking pain don't admit of it!!
some rules for me? how to dare and fix on better way...?

comments (0)

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nikka's English Blog : if you don't move, you'll never know what you're missing.
as clear as crystal... 2009-06-29 @ 20:25:53 my mother is peaceful. it's so weird! she doesn't scream, doesn't cuss. but I know the reason. my brother wants to go abroad (like me) in two months. I want to do it in one month. she's scary that he stay alone in Poland. I told her the other day, that if she doesn't stop, she will stay alone here. she didn't act my advice. so... my prophecy is coming true inexorably... my love's brother and his wife are coming their home in Ireland tommorow. it's an occasion to talk about my live there... I convicted him it... he sad early, that he won't talk about it and I can arrive and live there without their agreed. I don't want to do it, when I know they don't know about my arrival and staying for next 4 - 5 years. it's not fair... I'm scary... I don't know what they say :( will they agree...? or will they against... I hope tommorow everything will be as clear as crystal... comments (0) hopes and M.J. 2009-06-26 @ 19:49:30 I discussed today with my boyfriend. he resents my mother for everything what she treats me like dort. today she told, that I must give her all money what I have after sale my car, and then she said that I must to repay her credit - something about 10 000 PLN, and then - to depart fast :/ she used these words. great... back to square one, my love told I can to pack up and fly to him, to Ireland. I said "no". I must to recapture my money, it is 7 000 PLN!! I must have some money to start in Ireland - now I have nothing, maybe 20 PLN in my wallet :/ I don't want to live there on tick :/ we ruled that he will get me to Ireland after wedding in August. I must hold out something about 6 weeks... yesterday I heard about passing of Michael Jackson... I have his discography, without exceptions... his "you Are Not Alone" patronize me and my boyfriend's love all along... we both love to hear his songs... together or apart... I don't believe he is dead... I didn't think that he die anytime... he always was in the world... now he's gone. rest in peace Michael [] comments (1) two options. 2009-06-21 @ 14:40:45 I found alvo website - http://www.wordreference.com. I searched, how to translate "jak najmocniej"... and there I was spot on ;) I recommend :) I thought about my future... there is an end of my study. option 1: I can leave Poland. It would be self-imposed exile. I would be with my love, work abroad, make better my english. 4 - 5 years abroad, ant then coma back to Poland - my love want to do it. here yearly study, my second dream - fitness instructor. option 2: I can find job here, live in Poland (with my acerbic mother :/ ) and per year - yearly study - fitness instructor. we'll see... keep your fingers :) finally everything must be better. comments (0) I knocked my studies on the head. 2009-06-17 @ 14:54:36 Everything crashed. I failed a little exam. now I don't have a chance to carry on my study. why? If I want to continue, I must to pay few hundreds PLN. I can't be sure, that I pass residial exams - if not, I must to pay few hundreds PLN x two, three... etc. I'm not able to do it... second impediment - next year I should have 6 exams - I can't manage with it... It will be too lot of science... It's ungovernable for me. I don't want to trash next year of my life for something, what is impossible to bring it off. I really will not manage with it. Law is to hard for me. I believed that I can graduate. I miscalculated... so... I don't know, what now. I don't want to gamble that my boyfriend takes me to Ireland under his wings... In this day and age, when there is recession, finding job can be difficult... I have savings, I sold my car... but it's not a big amount in Ireland - it's only something about 1500 euro... I can live with it one, maybe two months... and what then? what, if I wouldn't find a job? I'm watchint CNN now, "Road To Recovery". They're talking about recession, unemployment in GB. situation is badly. I'm disoriented. My success? I lost 3,5kg. But it's not enjoying me in this situation. comments (2) f*k. 2009-06-15 @ 18:29:46 I have no free time. trainings, school, and visits doctor... I have problems with my health. I have no zest to learn. I'm fed up to the teeth with it. I'm scared vision of learning for next 6 years. I already don't want to be a lawyer... so I don't know, why I'm learning it now. Everything crashes. comments (1) can you kill me? 2009-06-10 @ 20:05:01 next reason to leave my native land. row again, pain again, tears again. at night tears too... but I cried because I miss my love so much. in this situation I regret that he is far away from me... I need him here... but I must cope with it alone... sometimes it's horrible... no friends in Poland (thanks to my ex), only three persons in Ireland, one in Bydgoszcz, one in Poznań... here I'm alone... I have a lot of reasons to think that my mother hates me. I'm fed up to the teeth!!!! prayers to the God are ineffective, but I believe He can help me... now I must pull together... I have 5 exams to pass and 1 little - I didn't take it at weekend, these days was horrible... a lot of rows with my mother, tears day by day... I wasn't able to do anything... one day was peaceful... ONE... today everything came back... and it's still continue... :( I have depression again. Which persons can I thank? comments (0) tears again... 2009-06-06 @ 15:28:56 I'm crying now... again... thanks to my mother... row again... I can't learn, I can't stady on... I can't stop cry... she does me head in ;( I don't know, how I can weather ;( I'm listening Myslovitz - Chciałbym umrzeć z miłości... I cry to this song very often... I'm sorry... I must to find my boyfriend's hoodie... I must to nuzzle it ;( comments (0) better way, better life... but before - tough call. 2009-06-06 @ 03:05:58 I wrote CV in english. my boyfriend didn't spot any errors... uhh ;) maybe I am truly better ;) joke... but I really believe, that it is a matter of time. Bart, my darling, has said today, that he can't last out without me... I wanted to cry... I miss him so much... I want to hug him, kiss him... everything, but with him!!!! sometimes everything is so difficult... I am here alone... every day is harder... I miss more day by day... sometimes I cry... I can to tell him this things, I know that he would to more worried, can think that he gives me more suffer, less love and happiness... I don't want to his anguish... I'd rather to suffer secretly... I'm not be able to change my life, I can't to stand out from everything what I have here. It's difficult to venture... I'm afraid, that I may regret, and I don't want. I would behave in line with my dreams... but fucking pain don't admit of it!! some rules for me? how to dare and fix on better way...? comments (0) This is english blog. User writes in english. If you would like to have blog like this, you can register your own for free.Register your own english blog Język angielski matura z angielskiego Gramatyka angielska	Navigation Home Links about me WordReference Statistics 35836 Blog mainpage Archive 2010 February (1) 2009 October (1) August (2) July (5) June (11) 2009.6.29 (1) 2009.6.26 (1) 2009.6.21 (1) 2009.6.17 (1) 2009.6.15 (1) 2009.6.10 (1) 2009.6.6 (2) 2009.6.5 (1) 2009.6.2 (1) 2009.6.1 (1) May (4) Menu Login << she's a fairytale :) .
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